Putting a Damper on the Ding: Tips for an Unplugged Summer

Ding. Buzz. Vibrate. Flash. Click. Tap. Swipe.

There are days the constant noise I hear coming from my phone overwhelms me. There are times late in the day I would prefer not to take one more look at it. One must wonder if this constant interruption is good for the soul. God alone deserves our ongoing attention, and is the only One worthy of interrupting our thoughts and activities.

Research shows that the average American touches their cellphone 150 times a day and swipes and taps the screen over 5,000 times. Additionally, very few people can go for four hours or more during the day without touching their phone.

Just stop and think for a minute: A hundred and fifty times a day equates to us touching it every six minutes. Yikes! Imagine if every Christian prayed as much as we touched our phones. Our spiritual and relational lives would be richer and less cluttered with distractions.

Few would disagree that the smartphone has become an intrusive part of our lives. It has become another appendage for most of us, a sacred cow for some, and we have difficulty imagining our lives now without it. Our phones have our calendar, alarm clock, access to important documents, photos, maps, oodles of apps for everyday use, and for some of us it’s the main hub of our home devices. In addition, we feel connected to friends and family and well-informed from endless news cycles. Therefore, its power over us is unparalleled to anything we have seen before.

At the same time, more information is coming out daily to help us navigate and stay informed of the ongoing short and long term effects of our ever increasing appetite for the digital world. Additionally, Apple and Google recently announced they’ve created free software apps to curb our cravings for endless phone consumption. Apple even has a new initiative called “digital wellbeing,” with controls on new devices to monitor screen time use.

In a 2018 interview, Simon Cowell announced that he hasn’t used his phone for 10 months…Must be nice! His findings: “It has absolutely made me happier. The difference it made was that I became more aware of the people around me and way more focused.”

I’ve already concluded that Simon Cowell’s statement holds significant truth; however, I’m not advocating we abandon our phones, but rather consider their proper place in our lives, with clear boundaries that prioritize time with God and people.

The Shocking Reality: The Science Behind Our Smartphone Addiction

A recent article in The Guardian entitled “Our Minds Can Be Hijacked” states:

"One morning in April this year, designers, programmers and tech entrepreneurs from across the world gathered at a conference center on the shore of the San Francisco Bay. They had each paid up to $1,700 to learn how to manipulate people into habitual use of their products."

We’ve been studied by the high tech companies. Our behavioral patterns have been recorded for years. Every device, app, and site is designed to maximize our attention and increase our spending. The research has shown that we are weak, vulnerable, indulgent, and easily addicted individuals. Doesn’t that make you frustrated? It does for me.

The constant dinging of our phone conditions our brains to feed an addiction. Every time we hear a ding, the dopamine in our brain drops and it produces compulsive behavior. If acted on, over and over again, it becomes an addiction. If you can’t stop picking it up and touching it, then you probably have an addiction with your device. Recognize that you have a problem and make a change.

It's Not Just the Youth: The Device Draw Affects the Whole Family

Some people think young people are the worst over users of handheld devices, but studies indicate parents are just as guilty. Sadly, the distraction caused by smartphone overuse drives a wedge between the parent and child relationship. Our children perceive our constant distraction as if we’re not available and are uninterested in their lives. There is nothing loving when we’re engrossed in email, text messages, or social media rather than responsive to a child’s inquiry and desire for attention.

What is more important, responding to one more ping on your phone or engaging with an innocent question from your child? After all, children are prone to copy our behaviors. Are you feeding the future habits of your young children by using screen-time babysitters to occupy their attention while you try to be productive? I confess, I’ve been there, much to my chagrin. My husband and I proactively weaned our youngest child off screen time to prevent him from developing an unhealthy attachment to it.

Many people fear for their children’s safety in schools with gun violence and bullying. However, some articles insist that the smartphone is the biggest threat to our children. Smartphone overuse is stunting their development into fully formed social creatures, producing skyrocketing depression rates and conditioning them to crave more and more, literally rewiring their brains with ingrained patterns of device attachment.

In addition to what has already been stated, here are some of the negative side-effects of the smartphone, for children and adults:

• Distracted, and less fruitful work and engagement with people
• Instant gratification, indulging the desire to view more and more online images of all sorts
• Increasing sedentary lifestyle
• Dullness, lack of emotional connection, empathy, social cues, etc.
• Ungodly influences
• Children struggling with parental authority
• Skyrocketing depression rates
• Increase in suicidal thoughts, and actions
• Aggression and/or anger when our loved ones interrupt in the middle of an email or text message
• Increased loneliness
• Growing narcissism, self-focus, the belief that I’m the center of my own universe
• Less patience to do the hard work of learning and parenting
• Coveting other people’s “perfect” lives
• Comparison, discontentment, and discord
• And a whole lot of wasted time

This list is not exhaustive. More could be said on pornography, divorce, sex trafficking, sexting, etc. Those threats are for a whole different blog post. For now, let us take inventory on how much digital consumption has become a “respectable” sin within our community.

I don’t want to be one of the statistics, nor do I want that for any of my children. We have to outsmart our smartphones and be vigilant to keep them in their proper place as servant, not master.

A Charge For Families to Take a Summer Screen Break

So where do we begin curbing our appetite for screen consumption? Begin with summer vacation. Summer time is a time of refreshment, a time to unwind, slow down and absorb the glory of extended daylight, warm breezes, delightful smells coming from the flower bed or grill, games of kickball in the backyard, friendly discussions with neighbors, and numerous other gifts that come along only during stretched out summer days.

My challenge to all of us this summer is to get off our phones and get out and enjoy nature; enjoy the beautiful faces that grace our lives on a daily basis and cause us to see the very image of our Creator all around us.

6 Practical Ideas to Be Intentional About Reducing Your Family Phone Use

So, how can we limit our appetite for the ping? Let’s consider some practical ways this can play out:

• Set aside the evening
• When you arrive home for the evening, place your phone in a room that you enter less frequently, where it can be heard if the phone rings, but text messages, emails, and all other dings are out of ear shot. The phone then is not touched until all the children are tucked in bed. Repeat until you leave in the morning. This allows you to be present and less distracted.
• Schedule screen fasts
• Fast from phone and laptop usage on weekends, evenings, and vacations. Inform your boss and coworkers that you will not be responding to messages during certain hours/days.
• Use an app
• Moment and Flipd are two new apps created to curb our phone use. The first one can be removed so it’s probably for those less affected by addiction. Flipd actually shuts down your phone once you exceed your set time limit. This app cannot be removed from your phone once installed.
• Engage your spouse
• Allow for your spouse to be your accountability partner.
• Get input from the kids
• Have a family meeting to discuss ways that you can prioritize each other and take extended breaks from screen time. You may be surprised by what your children say!
• Make quality time phone-free
• When you’re out on a date with your spouse or spending quality time with your children, mute or completely shut off your phone.

Let’s encourage each other this summer to live other-focused and unplugged. Savor the holy fingerprints of God on every leaf, flower, sound, smell, and on the faces that grace your house and your community. We have this one life to live and our greatest calling is to love. Time spent on the smartphone will never accomplish that. And in the end, you might just find out that you’re a happier person as Simon Cowell did.

For additional resources, here are several references:

{{cta('29407d59-0d3d-418b-99df-185097184820','justifycenter')}}Turn Off That Smartphone Mom and Dad

For the Children’s Sake Put Down That Smartphone

Have Smartphone’s Destroyed a Generation

Focus on the Family Broadcast from June 5: Interfacing with Your Child Beyond the Screen Part 1

Focus on the Family Broadcast from June 6: Interfacing with Your Child Beyond the Screen Part 2

Hands Free Mama

In Classical Christian Education, we believe in the pursuit of finer things - a consistent discipline of seeking out the good, the true, and the beautiful in all we can learn from the world around us in light of God's word. As such, we see technology as a great tool, but not a replacement for timeless learning and interaction. Find out what makes Veritas a different experience for students, allowing them to grow and learn with joy and rigor to be ready to engage our culture for the good of God's kingdom.

Contact us today to schedule your visit and see the Veritas difference. We're excited to show you how your child can thrive in Classical Christian Education here! 

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